Vegan Halloween Spider Treats (V, Paleo, Gluten Free, Dairy Free)

Vegan Halloween Spider Treats (V, GF, Paleo): an 8 ingredient recipe for super fun no bake spider treats packed with fruits and nuts for Halloween! Vegan, Paleo, Gluten Free, Dairy Free.

Halloween is my favorite holiday. Like, of ALL time. Why, you ask? Okay, I’m just gonna pretend that you actually asked so I don’t feel like I’m here talking to myself. You cool with that? Er… I’m gonna assume that you nodded yes. *Clears throat*

Back to what I was saying (to myself, apparently), I love Halloween because it’s all about fun, a few frights, embracing the weird, the unusual and the unexpected, and seriously great for family bonding. And no, I’m not just talking about me and my mom’s Almond Joy… incident. 😉

One such family bonding Halloween event occurred just a few years ago, back when I was in college. Okaaaaaaay, that was more than a few years ago. But friends let friends gloss over age and such, I like to think. 🙂

But anyway, my sister Monica knew how absolutely crazy I was about All Hallows’ Eve. So, being the amazing sister that she is, she got us two tickets to Universal Studios, specifically with the intent of us going to their haunted house. Fun, right?

At least, that’s the impression I was under until it happened.

It was a typically sunny day in Southern California. Monica was happy to take a break from her grad school studies; I was ready to relax after all of my partying studying from being all college-like. We left her apartment early to get a head start at the amusement park. We arrived just around 10 in the morning, bellies full of coffee, donuts and candy (because: Halloween).

Driving up to Universal Studios felt like driving into Hollywood. There was everything you’d expect to see: rows of tall palm trees, shiny cars and spectacular tans and sunglasses, everywhere. The day was warm and looking up.

We entered the park and dutifully gawked at the celeb/movie cool stuff. Monica pointed out a few movie posters, naming the ones she wanted to see, and asked me what I wanted for lunch. I told her anything but ramen and jumbo slurpees would be great. There was a calm, low-key vibe to everything.

Then, we approached the haunted house.

Outside, people were lined up, laughing and milling about, gossiping about friends and frenemies, making plans for the hottest Halloween parties that year. We lined up behind a couple: one giant, muscular feat of a man (like, two times Thor) and his small, bubbly galpal.

Double-Thor said, “This haunted house is gonna be soooo lame. Babe, you know I can’t even be scared anymore. Gettin’ scared is for wimps. But, whatever, I know you like it… and it’s so nice when you grab my arm for protection.”

I couldn’t hear what his galpal said, much to my nosy chagrin. Monica was telling me about this new pizza place in Irvine that she wanted us to try out. She said they served fresh breadsticks in line while you waited and even…

“Dude, I watched The Exorcist like 100 times and I laughed the whole time. I mean, is Psycho supposed to be scary? Cause I thought it kinda sucked,” said Teen Boy #1. As focused as I was on the thought of breadsticks, I couldn’t help but eavesdrop on the two teenage boys behind us. Eavesdropping is standard operating procedure in a waiting line, right?

Teen Boy #2: “Oh come on, dude. It was kinda scary. You don’t have to act like it didn’t scare the s#@% out of you. It did, stop lying your a#$ off!”

TB1: “Whatever. No, it didn’t. No so-called scary movie has ever scared me. It’s all for f^&^%#@ losers. That sh…”

Monica: “Hey, poopsie, they’re letting us in!”

Finally, we were in. Any more eyerolls from me and my eyes would fall out of my head. Perfect for Halloween, but not for me. Ahem. Suddenly, everything was dark and cold. The sound of laughter, chatter and babies crying all stopped. I blinked a few times to let my eyes adjust.

Monica and I looked at each other and shrugged. Neither of us had ever been in a bonafide haunted house before, as you might have guessed from my sheltered childhood. Double Thor and Galpal walked in front of us, and the TBs followed behind. Somehow, a group of twenty-something girls appeared right next to us.

All was quiet, except for a few low whispers. The darkness turned to a soft, eerie blue glow as we walked down one path, as a group. Someone screamed in the distance. A gentle swishing noise repeated over and over again.

TB2: “What the hell is that sound?”

TB1: “I don’t know. Are you scared or something? Dork.”

I looked at Monica and glared my eyes at the side of TB1’s head. Monica said, “This is kinda creepy, Poopsie. But fun too, right? Are you happy we’re finally at a haunted—“

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!”

Me: “What the frack was that?? Um, you know what? It was probably just a soundtrack or something. Movie studios, right?”

Monica: “Yeah… sure it was. No, I totally see that. So, um, you feel like some fresh breadsticks tonight? Because I was thinking that–”

Swoosh

The sound of crinkling plastic started to fill the air. As we filed down the path, I heard several people make sounds of disgust. I could just barely make out—what the jellybeans was that? Big plastic bags swung from the ceiling. But something appeared to be in them.

Bodies.

All tightly packed together so none of us could keep going, not unless we pushed through them. It was time for Monica and I to go through. It was unsettling, but doable, sort of, I thought. Be an adult, you can do this. I tentatively reached out to grab a strip of plastic, being careful not to touch any body parts.

My hand quivered as Monica, and the people behind us, looked on. I grabbed another strip with my other hand, readied myself to push two hanging bodies apart, held my breath and pulled. Just as the plastic started to part, everything happened in a blur.

A ghostly white hand reached out through the plastic and made its way for me. I looked down, screamed and fell back. With a thump and a few grunts, three or four people behind me all fell, like a row of dominoes.

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” and “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! What was that? Did you see? And what about?? I don’t want to go through again!!!”

Monica: “Poopsie, it’s okay. Breathe. Just breathe. It was probably just someone in line, playing a joke. Or, who cares, it’s just an actor. Breathe.”

Me: “You’re right.”

TB2: “It’s nothing. We’re all okay. It’s just for fun.”

Me: “Thank you. Phew. Okay, let’s do this.”

Monica put steel in her spine and proceeded forward, as big sisters do. She parted the plastic and moved through, holding an opening for me, with no incident. Our entire group was a little spooked, and a little jumpy, but still intact.

Together, we all walked down a hall filled with a yellow, flickering glow. I could hear an audible sigh as everyone realized this hall was for us to slow down our heart beats and relax a bit. It was just a hallway lit with torches. Nothing more.

Double-Thor and GalPal were up ahead of us, walking hand in hand. Monica and I moved along, looking closely at the torches for signs of suspicious activity. We shuffled along quietly, when I heard,

TB2: “Sh$#!!!!!!!!!!!! RUNNNNNNNNNN!!!!”

I looked back in a panic and saw it: a bodyless arm, extending from a hole in the wall, where a torch used to be, with an iron grip on TB1. He stood there, flailing and struggling to get away. One of the twenty-something girls, I overheard called “Callie,” started slapping and punching at the arm, trying to force its grip off. I stopped for a moment, considering whether or not I should go back and help, when…

“Poopsie!!! Poopsie!!! Help!!!!”

Monica was chopping and clawing at another hand that had appeared from a torch near her wall. I rushed to her side, clubbing at the hand with my visitor brochure. “Get OFF!!! You son of a—“

Monica: “I’m okay. I’m okay. It’s okay. Poopsie, stop hitting it!!”

“I need to kill it!!! It’s EVIL!!!!” I kept whipping at the general demon-arm area, even though the arm was now gone, until Callie put her hand on my shoulder.

Callie: “It’s gone now. Let’s move forward.”

I glanced over at Double Thor and saw that his hand was holding Galpal’s arm very, very tightly.

I blew out a breath, but didn’t release my iron grip on the visitor brochure. I darted her a look of thanks and hugged my sister. Calm down, I told myself. This is Halloween fun, right? Or, this is Halloween madness, I couldn’t decide which.

Looking back down the hall, I saw that nothing was amiss. It was as if the torches were never moved, never had demon arms protruding from them. I looked around and saw frightened faces, stony-determination faces, and plain old hysterical ones. We all nodded at each other and started moving again.

What happened next was something from our greatest nightmares. But I’ll tell you all about that in the next post.

To be continued…

.. READ PART TWO HERE ..

In the mean time, allow me to introduce you to some of the creepiest, but totally fun and festive All Hallows’ Eve goodies: Vegan Halloween Spider Treats! If your heart isn’t already pounding from the above story, maybe these little guys will do it for ya.

To be perfectly honest, the photoshoot for these spiders kinda spooked me and Erik out. We could have sworn they were actually moving. Creepy? YES. Fun: Oh, heck yeah! The best part: they’re made with whole ingredients, straight-forward to make and so ridiculously delicious.

If spooky Halloween tales didn’t get you in the mood, I hope these vegan Halloween spider treats do. Let me tell you all about how spooktacular they are. 🙂 These Vegan Halloween Spider Treats are:

• made with just 8 ingredients
• bursting with fruit and nut goodness
• vegan, paleo, gluten free and dairy free
• so much fun for Halloween
• plant-based and allergy-friendly
• packed with protein (just like a spider would be… Muahahahahahahahaha!)
• perfect for adults and kids
• made with ingredients you can feel good about
• great for your next Halloween party!

So try your spider leg hand at making something just as scary as Halloween! Tell me, what are some of your favorite memories of Halloween? What treats do you always make for your friends and family? I can’t wait to share this wonderful holiday with you!

.. READ PART TWO HERE ..

Sending you all my love and maybe even a dove (or a raven, because: HALLOWEEN). xo, Demeter ❤️ .

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Halloween Treat Idea #1: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Truffles (Vegan, Gluten Free, Dairy Free). A reader-favorite, perfect for Halloween!

Halloween Candy Idea #1: Paleo Almond Joy (Vegan, Gluten Free, Dairy Free). Frightfully good.

Halloween Treat Idea #2: Gluten Free Vegan Peanut Butter Cup Brownies (V, GF, Dairy Free). PB Cups love a spooktacular brownie-upgrade!

Happy (almost) Halloween! . .